Please can you help with my add????? im desperate?

k so im 17 and i have add, my councilors diagnosed me it, that and dislexia, at school, im tired all day, and i keep telling myself that i cant wait to go home and go 2 sleep, but as soon as the bell rings it seems like im wide awake and i dont want to go to sleep anymore untill i try 2 do my homework. school is killing me, i get really depressed all the damn time because i get bad grades i hate it, im trying to get good grades, but i just cant i dont know how to explain it. i see everyone else around me at school, and it seems like everythings going so well for them, and its all easy, n it kills me that im not normal like that. ive went to the doctors last year and they put me on concerta, and it did nothing, ive tried every kind of study technique i cood look up, i just want to be sucessfull, i want to graduate, and go to college and get a job, its just so hard i dont think i can. i know self medication is wrong, but i got desperate and bought some adderall off of a kid at school, and it worked really well, i did all my work that day in cl, i remember everythign that happend, i didnt crash, and i was in a good alert mood all day, i was happy and productive it was great. i have another doctors appointment on monday, and because i dont know how to explain how i feel, i dont know what to tell him, and i think that will deter me from getting the medication i need, can anyone help me?? tell me what to say, somthing?